Humor, Parenting

I Speak Fluent Toddler

I speak fluent toddler. Made some cliff notes in case any one is going to be hanging out with one in the near future. Their language is full of demands and blanks you have to fill in. Good thing they are adorable and hilarious or there would be some serious trouble.



NO- I just learned I am a person and will say no to anything you say to me if I feel like it. Basically, I'm not even listening to you. Do I want a pop? NO! Do I want to play outside? NO!

MINE- I'm about to assault a friend.

MILK- Get me a drink right now in the cup I like best or I'm going to scream.

OUCHIE- I just picked a scab off my body and now i'd like to show it to you.




UH OH- This can mean a variety of things, but all require you to take 3 deep breaths before you look in their direction.

PEAS- Please. Give me a damn cheese stick.

SORRY- I have to say this to you to get my Mom off my back.

BOAT- I'd like you to break into a chorus of Row row row your boat.

UGA MUGA- I love you


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Beach bum. Mom. Wife. Sister. Friend. Coach. Yoga Instructor. Special needs advocate. Library enthusiast. Mom blogger. Positive thinker.