I’m sure when you were a teenager babysitting small children, you thought taking care of kids would be a breeze. Or at least that’s what I thought. I loved to help babysit multiple children when I was a teenager. I remember being 16 and handling five kids all by myself in church. I would say to myself, I can rock this mom stuff, it's a no brainer!
Well let me tell you. It may be easy caring for someone else’s kid until you have your own. I remember when Aiden was a toddler I used to cry to myself thinking, I am failing as a mom and I can’t control my own child?!
Well here I am now, all grown up, married, with three boys! Yes, three boys! And let me say, I still don’t have it all figured out. I’m still learning my role as a mother as I go. My friend Danyelle from New York came and stayed with us a few weeks ago and saw first hand what life is like in my shoes.
Motherhood is a 24/7/365 job. It is never-ending, it’s constant, always on your toes, constantly planning, planning, and more planning. As well as organizing. If you get off schedule it’s like the world is against you, or more like your kids are against you. The laundry is never-ending. Just when you think you’re finished, you find another dirty pile laying somewhere around the house. The dishes pile up in the sink because we forget to get in the kitchen to clean it in the first place, or we’re just too tired and lazy to turn on the dishwasher, until our kids ask where their cups are. Then we deal with schedules, games, play dates, school activities, projects, and more.
I mean for crying out loud, we do more multitasking than the guys do! And yet they complain when we ask for a break!
I don’t know about you, but I always use this special phrase with my husband and kids.
Whew! I know I need me some “me time” if things are getting too crazy. I know you’re probably thinking that’s nice for you to have “me time” but I cannot! Let me tell you why it is so important for women and mothers to have “me time".
Whether you are a working mom, a stay-at-home mom, etc. you need “me time". You need that time to take a break from the craziness, and just be still. Most women think having “me time” is going to the spa and getting massages. Oh, I would love that too, but in the end I’d be broke (haha!). “Me time” doesn’t consist of massages for me. Sometimes it will be a pedicure if we have the funds for it, a simple walk by myself, arranging a girls' night, or girls' game night.
“Me time” can also consist of me laying in my bed binge watching mini series or movies on my iPad while Manny takes care of the kids. When I tell you it is very important for us to have “me time” I mean it. Sometimes you’ll think you don’t need it and that you can keep going on and on. When my friend Danyelle saw how busy my life is with three boys, she called me “supermom". I told her I am the farthest thing from that phrase. And though you may think it, but you are not supermom. You are only one person that can multitask to a certain point.
Whatever you enjoy doing whether it is sewing, drawing, writing, playing an instrument, or whatever your favorite hobby is can be used as your “me time".
Another great way for me to have some daily “me time” is by exercising. I do really high intense workouts and I am a big fan of Shaun T. I’ve done his T25 workouts, and now I am currently do his Insanity Max 30 workouts. Sometimes my children frustrate me so badly that the only way I can get out my aggression is by doing these crazy exercises. When I tell you exercising helps, it does! I am very committed to my workouts on a daily basis. My chores and to-do lists can wait, but I gotta get in a workout everyday.
I usually exercise right after lunch when Nolan is napping, and when Grayson is in his swing (you should see the faces Grayson gives me when I workout. Ha! It’s hysterical!). I’ve tried doing my workouts when Manny is home from work that way he can take care of the kids, but when he comes home my boys go bonkers, and they’re in my way. They sometimes like to go under me when I’m doing burpees. When I should feel good after a workout, I actually feel more stressed. So that is why I do my exercising after lunch when the house is quiet.
Another way you can have some “me time” is by reading, or spending time with God. When was the last time you opened your Bible to try to hear from the Lord? Or the last time you sat all by yourself listening to worship music on your headphones? When was the last time you sat and read a page or two from a book? Or when was the last time you sat outside quietly by yourself just staring and feeling the breeze touch your face?
You can tell yourself that you don’t need “me time” when in actuality… you do! If you keep doing the same routine everyday, dealing with the craziness of life, dealing with your kids and all, you will eventually start to feel run down. Then you’ll be trying to do things on adrenaline. And before you know it, you’re a burnt out mama who will eventually start crying and may end up being depressed. And you don’t want that!
Your family needs you. Your kids need you. Your friends need you.
Make it a priority to have some “me time”, make it a priority to spend time with God to hear from Him. Make time for yourself. Have fun and enjoy the little things again. I’m not saying forget your spouse and children. Just set aside a time or day for yourself. Even if it’s for 15 minutes. Make time to have a date night with your spouse, make time to have a girls night (Lord knows we need it!). Have a girls night with women you know who are in the same season of life as you. That way they can not only make you laugh & have a good time, but also encourage you when you need it!
When you have consistent “me time” you get refreshed and are able to continue to do your duties in your home. When you have your “me time” you cannot think about your kids or what is happening, that’s why it is called “me time” duh! Once you set a time for yourself and are used to having that time to focus on you, you'll notice something change. You will notice your attitude towards your spouse is different, your attitude is different towards your children. Because you are getting that time to have a break and get refreshed!
So as I close this blog I’m going to be honest with you. This blog has literally taken me four hours to write because I have Nolan asking me questions, Grayson who keeps crying and demanding my attention, all while doing three loads of laundry, and Grayson is still whining and crying. I already sent Manny a text saying I need “me time” before family movie night tonight. Because I’m already getting to that point of losing it.
You see? You’re not the only one!
So I challenge you. Make it a point to have some “me time". Your body needs it, your mind definitely needs it, and your soul and emotions need it.