Humor, Parenting

Mom’s Favorite Things… A Mockery

The Sound of Music Rodgers & Hammerstein/20th Century

Cue up Julie Andrews in the back of your mind and sing along with these new, funny lyrics! These are every mom’s favorite things!

 

White wine and red wine and cocktail creations
Shiny beer bottles and child free libations
Quiet, tipsy moments that nighttime ever brings
These are a few of mom’s favorite things!

Polished, clean potties and laundry all folded
Swept floors, and lawn mowed, and children pre-scolded
Offspring that bow to their parents like kings
These are a few of mom’s favorite things!

Girls in potato sacks and boys playing nicely
Children who make their beds up quite precisely
Sisters and brothers who leave out verbal stings
These are a few of mom’s favorite things!

When the dog barfs, when our ears ring
When you’re screaming mad
Just simply remember mom’s favorite things
And then you can blame their dad!

Spicy Bloody Mary’s and a personal cook
Hot bubble baths and new romance book
Children who do chores happily without strings
These are a few of mom’s favorite things

Cuddles with littles and blankets all cozy
Sweet tiny kisses and cheeks red and rosey
Jolly little voices and tears when they sing
These are a few of mom’s favorite things

Chocolate well hidden so no one can find it
Christmas gifts wrapped with tight ribbon to bind it,
Guests that arrive with much wine under wing
These are a few of mom’s favorite things

When no one sleeps, when your job clings
When your man’s a cad,
Just simply remember mom’s favorite things
And then you can blame their dad!


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