Marriage, Divorce & Dating

Domestic Violence: You Can Get Out Too

Domestic violence is a serious subject, take it from someone who has lived through it, more than once.

My ex-husband was physically abusive, and mentally abusive. He had a pattern. He would hit on me every three months, at first, then it got more frequent. I was in the hospital seven times, in a matter of three and a half years. He would tell me what he thought I needed to hear to get me to stay. And, for the most part, I did.

He would beat me, while I was holding our infant daughter. I finally realized I had to get her out of there when she was four and a half. Yes, we were only married three and a half years, and I should've never taken him back. He threw me out when I was pregnant. I should've realized at that point he was no good, but when our child was just about to turn one, he reemerged. And, I fell hook, line and sinker.  I was so young, 21, when I got pregnant and I thought he was who I'd love forever.

Well, while I worked three jobs, at times, he did nothing. Even leaving our daughter home, alone, while he went to find his fix. It sickens me now, to think about it. I didn't know what he was doing because I was working so much.

I slowly started moving my possessions, and hers, out. Then, one day, I told him I was going away for a few days, and I took my daughter to my parents. He called me, on my cell phone, and told me I had five minutes. I was four hours away, so I said, "What?" He repeated himself. I called the police, and they went to the house and found him trying to hang himself from the bedroom door, with the vacuum cleaner cord. Even that he failed at.

I had friends go to my house, and finish moving the important stuff out, while he was in the psych ward.

My daughter will be 20, in June, and she hasn't had anything to do with him since she was nearly five. She is better off, because he is not only a woman beater, but a drug abuser and alcoholic to this day.

I've told my daughter if she wants to know him, I can get her to him, and she always says, "NO!"  I don't blame her, because I do know him, and she is the only positive thing that came out of that relationship.

Get this, he tells everyone I keep her away from him. Well, dude, you haven't attempted to call her, or see her in 15 years, but that's your loss. And, now she wants nothing to do with you. But, you did her a favor, because you are no good for anyone.

Anyway, if I was strong enough to get out, anyone can! I hope if you read this and you are in an abusive situation, you can find the strength to leave. It took awhile, but I had a plan and followed through with it.


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