Are You Parenting Honestly?
Hello! How is your week? I just got finished having the most interesting conversation with my Lil Mama. Seems the older she gets, the more subjects we dive into with more details. The more we continue to communicate, the more Q&A's we enter.
But here's a BIG question many parents ask themselves:
Should I admit I don’t have all the answers? That I don’t really know everything after all? Would it be so terrible of me to actually “be human”? Would these admissions reduce my authority?
Twenty-two years in and still counting, my perspective remains the same: that once we can freely admit that just because we are parents we don't have special powers that allow us to know everything we are better able to communicate with our kids and find out the answers, together.
Our nonstop talks continue to bring about many learning lessons. I am not afraid to admit I don't know everything and certainly not afraid to ask for help or look things up. Topics ranging from school, drugs, body development, self-esteem, relationships, friendships and sexuality; we have touched it all. We continue to grow together and survive these sorts of conversations because we do the following:
- We take the time to talk daily
- We continue to show each other respect, especially me for her as she continues to mature
- I am aware I am no longer speaking to a child so I don't try to treat her like one
- We don't turn our talks into who knows more, but instead into light lessons filled with kindness and love
- We practice using language that is mindful of the feelings we are trying to convey
- She is clear I am still her mother, an authority figure, but there is no sense of who is holding power over the other.
Communication is key. Our kids need to feel and know that regardless of how uncomfortable something may be, they can come to us and talk things through and if we can't help directly we can figure ways to get them the right answers...together. Today there are so many pressures and so much available information, as parents, it is our responsibility to make sure our kids are getting the right information.
So, are you parenting as honestly as you should be? Parenting is a journey, there is no right or wrong answer all the time. We don't know it all and that is totally okay. Next time your kid comes up to you and asks you a question take the opportunity to talk about how you felt at that age when you too had questions and didn't know who to turn to for the answers. Never forget that was you once too.
I always find the above methods to come in handy. I think it's a great idea to tweak them depending on the age and to remain flexible in your approach. What do you think? How have you handled the rough patches in your parenting journey? Share your thoughts.
Always stress-free xo,