Humor, Parenting

10 Reasons The Elf Didn’t Move…

If mornings don’t suck enough, add sad faces when the children discover that their beloved Elf On The Shelf has not moved during the night.

He has remained in the same spot he was found in yesterday and, thus, did not make the trip home to Santa to discuss how awesome his little humans are….

Obviously, this is their fault, and here are 10 reasons why!

*One child, who shall not be named, used scissors in an inappropriate
manner and now mommy needs new undies….The Elf is saddened and needs a
day to mourn the loss of mommy’s things…                                                                            Children Who Break/Ruin Things=Naughty List

*The Elf gets energy from what you eat for dinner, since you refused
to eat he was too exhausted to move…                                                                                     Hungry Children=Naughty List

*The epic disaster left behind by hurricane “children” so terrified
and disgusted the Elf that his feet couldn’t move through the mess…
Messy Children=Naughty List

*All children in the house were so annoying, ridiculous, horrible,
atrocious, loud last evening, that the elf lost all brain function and
went into a stupor. He will recover when you have all apologized and
are quiet for an entire night…                                                                                                           Annoying Loud Children=Naughty List

*Mommy had too much wine and wouldn’t share. The elf was disappointed
and refused to budge…                                                                                                                    Rude Mommy=Naughty List

OK fine, so that one was mommy’s fault, sorry kiddos but wine is muy importante!

*You did not follow simple instructions and go to bed. An hour later
you burst through mommy and daddy’s door and….well, the Elf cannot
unsee what you saw mommy and daddy doing and He needs a day to recover
from his complete and utter, embarrassment.                                                                      Children Who Do Not Abide By Bedtime=Naughty List

*The Elf cannot move until someone fesses up to coloring the dog pink.
If you lie he will not be able to move tonight either and Santa will
become suspicious that there are naughty children living in this
house!…                                                                                                                                   Lying/Refusing To Fess Up=Naughty List

*The Elf tried to use the bathroom and sat on someone’s pee. He was so
grossed out that he returned to his previous resting place to dry…
Children Who Do Not Lift The Lid And Aim=Naughty List

*The Elf is terrified of the big, bad tooth fairy and, thus, does not
move on nights when she arrives…                                                                                             Loosing Teeth=Bad Idea In December

*Someone left the flaming door open for the umpteenth time despite
numerous reminders to close ALL doors and the Elf froze. He needs time
to thaw…                                                                                                                                    Neglectful Children=Naughty List

Why did your Elf refuse to move?


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